Saeed Jaffrey regrets leaving his first wife in his diary entry


Veteran actor Saeed Jaffrey who was seen in Bollywood movies like ‘Dil’, ‘Ram Teri Ganga Maili’,’Heena’ and ‘Shatranj Ke Khiladi’ among others had left his first wife only to realise his mistake and regret later.

A Facebok page named ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ has posted a diary entry by the veteran actor which gives a rather sad account of Saeed Jaffrey’s life. The post tells about how he wronged his first wife Mehrunima by trying to change her.

Mehrunima was a homely woman and a typical housewife which he did not like. Despite his repeated advice and admonishments when she did not change, the couple drifted apart. In the meantime, the actor fell in love with one of his co-actors who he thought was the exact woman he wanted for his wife.

He ended his marriage of 10 years with Mehrunima and got married to his co-actor, but soon realised that his second wife was bothered only about herself. He missed his first wife’s care and affection towards him.

About 6-7 years after his second marriage, he came across an article of one Madhur Jaffrey, who was actually his first wife Mehrunima. She had changed her name and was living in the US. He found out about her whereabouts in the US and went to meet her.

Saeed Jaffrey divorced Mehrunima alias Madhur Jaffrey in 1965 and married Jennifer in 1980. Madhur is an author of Indian cook books. Often called ‘The Julia Child of Indian Cookery’, Madhur started her career as an actress in US and then moved to the world of food and has hosted cooking shows. He latest book ‘Vegetarian India: A Journey Through the Best of Indian Home Cooking’ was recently released.

Following is the diary entry of the actor posted by Facebook page ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ produced verbatim. The beautifully written piece also carries a strong message of contentment in relationships.

“A must read for all -

From the diary of SayedJaffrey -- the famous bollywood character actor ---
I was 19 when I was married to Mehrunima who was 17. As I grew up, I was very fascinated by the british culture in colonial India. I learnt to speak English fluently, wear suits with grace, and developed impeccable etiquettes. But Mehrunima grew up to be my complete opposite - homely, a typical housewife. All my advices and admonishments couldn't change her basic personality - an obedient wife, a doting mother and a good homemaker. But she was not what I wanted. More I tried to change her, more we drifted apart. Gradually she metamorphosed from a cheerful affectionate young girl into a quiet insecure woman. Meanwhile I started getting attracted to a co-actor of mine who was all what I wanted in my wife. After 10 years of marriage, l divorced Mehrunima, left my home and married my co- actor. I had ensured financial security of Mehrunima and my kids . For about 6-7 months everything went well. Then I started realising, my new wife was not caring and affectionate. She was only concerned about her beauty, her ambitions, her wants and desires. Sometimes I missed Mehrunima's caring touch and concern for my welfare.
Life moved on . I and my new wife were 2 persons living in a house, not one soul living in a home. I never went back to find out what happened to Mehrunima and my kids.
After about 6 -7 years of my second marriage, I came across an article on a Madhur Jaffrey, an upcoming famous chef who had recently launched a book of her own recipes. The moment I looked at the picture of the smart elegant lady, I was stunned. It was Mehrunima. But how could it be ??? She had remarried and changed her maiden name too.
I was shooting abroad at that time. She lived in US now. I caught the next flight to US. I inquired about her where abouts and went to meet her. She refused to see me. My daughter who was 14, and son who was 12, told her they wanted to talk to me one last time. Her new husband was by her side. He was also my children's legal father now.
To this date, I cannot forget what my children told me.
They told me that their new father knows the meaning of true love. He accepted Mehrunima as she was and never tried to change her into what he himself was, because he loves her more than he loves himself. He let her evolve at her own pace and never tried to force his wishes on her. He accepted and enjoyed her person as it was.
And she has bloomed into a confident loving affectionate self reliant lady today under her second husband's selfless love and acceptance.
Where as his selfishness, demands and unacceptance of her persona had crushed her and then in his selfishness he had discarded her. 
He Never Loved Her, He Had Always Loved Himself , 
And Those Who Love Themselves, Cannot Love Others.”